Title : Back where he belongs
Author : Poor Mulder
Notes: Written for the Mulder's Refuge April 2003 challenge
Rating : PG
Category : MSR, a touch of MT.
Spoilers : The truth
Disclaimer : These characters belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions
English is not my first language. So Toomsie
had translated and Lisa has done a great job to help us to make
Gratitude for my friends.
Feedbacks ? Yes, of course. I live for it !!
Maybe there's hope
They had fallen asleep after making love for
the first time for months, in the motel room where they had taken
Mulder awoke startled, his body soaked with a soft sheen of cold sweat, with the images of the nightmare, which had haunted him, despite Scully's presence warm by his side. He rubbed at his face with his hands and rose quietly, trying not to wake her. She slept peacefully on; so beautiful in the half-lighted room. He brushed her hair away from her face in gentle strokes until his fingers slipped down, barely brushing over her lips, still swollen by the memory of his kisses.
He moved slowly towards the bathroom, his body heavy and exhausted by the unrelenting drama of the last few days. He hadn't eaten a thing since his jail break, and their subsequent flight to freedom, and he was staggered by a wave of dizziness, forcing him to hold onto himself by the door jamb, to avoid falling down. He waited a few seconds for the unpleasant sensations to disappear, before starting to run the shower. He took off his boxers slowly; avoiding looking at his body in the mirror. The multi colored reminders that he still bore the marks of his ill treatment, undergone during his detention.
He closed his eyes against the cascade of hot
water, and he tried in vain to forget the memories and sadness
that assaulted him, before being overwhelmed by a fresh
He had remained for days in the wet blackness
of his cell, deprived of the simple pleasure of daylight.
They had him slowly starved to accentuate the
effect of their cruelty.
They had humiliated him by stripping him and
leaving him naked, shivering on the ground, hoping for the moment
when he would finally reach breaking point, when he would blurt
out the confession that they were waiting for.
Ill make you talk, bastard!
Each time they opened the door of his cell, he
tried to pull fetal-like into a tight ball, as an attempt to
protect his body from the blows he knew were a heartbeat away;
but each time the hard rib-breaking boots of the soldiers
assaulted him. He was too weak and outnumbered to try to defend
himself. The pain, bitter cold and hunger; the humiliation of
lying naked and helpless on the cold cement as the blows reigned
down, had finally vanquished his courage, allowing fear to bleed
all over his sweat soaked body.
Words escaped his lips in a litany of
He gave them what they wanted. It was the only
way to escape their mental and physical tortures.
He had almost cried with relief when they had
dragged him roughly, still naked, into the jail's corridor
towards the showers. He had swallowed his shame, his modesty and
submitted to being washed under the scrutiny of their salacious
eyes, with barely tepid water, hands vigorously scrubbing at his
soiled body, their cruel laughter and bawdy jokes taunting his
spirit and dehumanizing his struggle since his incarceration.
He had feared that they would try a last, more
odious humiliation, when he stumbled frozen and weak out of the
shower, but they had finally given him clothes and hed
dressed as quickly as possible, still fearing their abuse but
reveling again, even in the simple pleasure of the rough
prisonissue fabric on his damaged skin. The soldiers had
then brought him back to his cell, and had given him food for the
first time in days. His stomach, empty for so long, had almost
revolted, but hed overcome his nausea and literally scarfed
down the disgusting meal. He had to gain his strength again if he
wanted to face them with determination.
The memories of his detention were being erased
little by little; his heart racing wildly as almost scalding hot
water gushed down on his tense muscles. He was free. Even as the
thought went through his mind, he could hardly dare believe it,
that Scully was back by his side and the future awaited them.
Even if that future was filled with uncertainty.
He startled, hearing Scully's voice through the bathroom's door. Dragging himself out of the shower, he got dressed quickly.
He didn't want her to see him like this, his
body covered with hideous bruises. A few hours earlier, in the
half-lighted room, she hadnt noticed his bruised body
amidst the racing hearts and urgent caresses, their joint need
He opened the door and let her come to him in the steam-fogged room.
I saved you some hot water.
She smiled tenderly, running her fingers softly
over his rough cheek, noticing the sadness that dampened his
sparkling eyes. They were almost gray, their once vibrant
green/hazel faded by exhaustion.
Are you ok?
Yeah. Just dog tired... and I'm
starving. He managed a small grin. He wanted to be honest
with her. She deserved it.
Her smile widened.
I can fix that. Why dont you lay
down, while I go find some breakfast?
Good idea, Scully. Id say its
He returned her gesture, caressing her cheek,
the emotion of the moment catching up with him, suddenly finding
themselves in a tender hug, tears threatening to choke both of
them before he pulled back finally, leaving a light kiss on her
lips. She leaned back for a moment, taking in the reality that he
was here in her arms, her head leaning slowly into his warm
chest, enjoying the contact of his thin, but nevertheless,
muscular body. Breathing his healthy odor; a heady mixture of
hotel soap and shampoo, she released herself gently from his
embrace, leaving him a last desire filled gaze of her eyes.
Just rest, ok? Ill be back in a few
He nodded, lying down on the bed. He was asleep
before shed even left the room.
She let herself back in ten minutes later; her
arms loaded with brown paper bags filled with pleasing aromas of
breakfast food. She left them on the bedside table and went to
sit by his still sleeping body. She hesitated a moment before
waking him. He seemed exhausted and troubled, even in his sleep.
His face was lined by new wrinkles, his eyelids encircled by gray
shadows. Softly, she caressed his hair. Shed missed him so
He blinked, slowly opening his sad eyes,
finding her deep sea blue ones settling intently on him. His
hazel ones became animated as a wave of joy passed through him.
They were really together again; after months of doubts and
sadness. His presence beside her again, gave Scully strength and
hope; She felt able to overcome any hardship theyd endured
so far, and their journey to come.
They ate in silence; Mulder wolfing down the
breakfast shed brought, with renewed enthusiasm for the
luxurious taste of decent food again. Scully ate hers slowly,
enjoying the simple happiness of the moment and being together
with the man she adored, hardly able to believe he was truly
here. Finally satisfied, he again began the conversation
shed tried desperately to avoid since the day before.
Scully, weve got some important
decisions to make. She shivered inwardly at the serious
tone of his voice.
Im an escaped murderer, Scully.
Even if they don't start a manhunt, they won't let me go. I don't
have a future as Fox Mulder. That old spooky guy is officially
dead now. I have to give up my old life.
I won't leave you, Mulder.
Have you thought of the consequences if
you do decide to come with me? She lowered her head,
frightened to hear the thoughts and scenarios that kept turning
over in her mind since their escape.
If you choose to go on the road with me,
Scully, youll be giving up your family, your work, your
friends, your home. You will have to leave everything and
everyone. I don't want to ask you to do that. I dont have
I don't want to endanger you anymore
than you are already, Scully. Weve..
so much because of me... His voice was a sad whisper as it
But I also earned so much, I love
you. She entwined her shaking fingers with his and held on
tightly, her eyes boring deeply into the pain she found in his,
watching the unshed tear amass in the corners of his dark lashes.
Youre my soul mate... the man I love and need and
want to be with for the rest of my life... As short it will be.
Don't say that, Scully. Ill do everything in my power to offer you a better life..my love.. He looked at her sadly, and caressed her tear moistened cheeks; he caught one between finger and thumb, rubbing it together as she watched his ragged breathing, the sincerity that oozed from his heart and threatened to bulge out of his eyes in a torrent.
Her voice broken by emotion, she spoke again.
I suppose that you planed for
everything. A shy smile took shape on Mulder's lips.
We're going to find William. He
said after what seemed like an age.
She gasped with surprise. That wasnt what
she had been expecting.
When I knew that... that you... had sent
him away to a safe place, my heart was broken. I almost hated you
in the moment I heard... But I also knew that it was the only way
at the time for you to ensure he had a life without danger. You
did what you could, as only any mother could. But hes our
son, Scully. Our child... My child..
I want him back. We
need to have him in our lives. Of all the people he relies on,
theres no one like us to protect him, ultimately. I refuse
to let him grow up without us. We're going to find him. I know
where he is.
Scully stared at his face like he had sprouted
two heads. Her heart started to pound alongside the hope his
She pulled him slowly to her body, needing the closeness. Her legs felt unsteady and weak at his words and their implications; her heart overwhelmed by roiling emotions. She felt the shame of having given up her child; the deep pain of knowing that his proud father wished for him more than anything in the world, and the hope that he now offered her that their dearest wish might become a reality... dare they even breathe in that hope?
Suddenly they were both sobbing, caught in a
savage embrace in their desire to become one being,
They hit the road again quickly; the early dawn
sun just poking through under an overcast sky, silence permeating
their thoughts and anguish, fear, excitement. Scully was still in
shock at his revelations. Hed told her that after leaving,
a short time after Williams birth, hed had the Gunmen
create new identities for them all; False names, legal' papers
such as passports, social security cards, drivers license.
Everything that they would need for themselves and their son, a
foresight made in preparation for an eventuality Mulder knew was
almost inescapable, even that far back.
He had also revealed her that he had invested
his vast wealth; inherited from his parents, safely in stocks and
accounts in numerous locations around the country and beyond,
keeping them clear of any financial problems. They could go
anywhere they wished if they made it quick and got under
In a shy, almost awkward way, he had shown her
a document that she had to read over several times before finally
understanding it significance.
Officially, they had now become Mr. and Mrs.
They had driven for several long days before
reaching their goal, stopping only at discrete 3rd rate motels;
listening to radio information to check that if their names were
mentioned, or not. So far, so good. Nothing they heard made them
think that they were still being pursued, but they were very
careful, all the same; not letting their guard down for a moment,
knowing that the danger could come from everywhere, at anytime.
Scully, who was now * Dana Katherine Kane *,
wore a bandana covering over her blazing hair to hide the color.
Mulder, now * Ira Kane *, let his beard grow, knowing pertinently
that their small strategy would not resist a thorough
investigation, if it came to that, but they hoped that time would
be on their side, and play out smoothly for them. It was
necessary to travel quickly to implement the project which was so
dear and important for them; more important than their own lives.
They arrived in the early morning light after
the 3rd day of traveling, not far from the house where William
was living, since his adoptive parents had died in a car
accident. Mulder had explained to his partner how hed
succeeded in obtaining this information. Unbelieving at first,
shed had a hard time believing that Gibson had succeeded in
locating their son, before trusting Mulders revelation
completely. She hardly dared hope it was true.
Hand in hand, their eyes locked on each
others gaze, seeking the determination and strength they
both needed from each other to go through with this; their last
hurdle to be with their beloved son. If Scully had been reticent
at first, she was now more resolute than ever, knowing that it
was the only way and only one outcome would do; The safe
retrieval of their child shed given away, after almost an
eternity of tears ago..
It was now or never, their last objective
before they burned their bridges on the way to beginning their
new life. They took a deep breath in unison. They could not fail
while they were this close.
All day, they thoroughly prepared each other
for their commando style operation. The small reception
facilities at the home appeared easy for them to tackle, but the
success of their plan was based on them being discrete and
stealthy in their approach. It was vital that that nobody.
Absolutely nobody saw them.
Just past midnight, they had entered the large
house, both dressed totally in black; the first thing they had
done was to make their way to the administrators office,
and snag their sons file. Silently, they had entered the
childrens nursery room where their child was sleeping,
unaware that his young life was about to change irrevocably
again, this time into the loving arms of his real parents.
Mulder leaned over the tiny blonde head tussled
on the pillow, emotion eating into him unexpectedly.
Instinctively he knew this was William. His heart told him so.
With an infinite gentleness, he lifted the baby into his arms and
wrapped him in a dark blanket. The child didn't even stir but
sighed and drooled contentedly, face snuggled against his fathers
pounding heart ; eyelids not even flickering as he registered
instinctively that he was safe.
They were out of the building in minutes like
silent black cats, slinking away into the cover of night. The
silence pounding Mulders ears in contest with his heart, as
he fought his panic under control. Almost there. They were hardly
daring to breath. Their son gave out a huge baby sigh that Mulder
somehow managed to stifle without waking him up.
They were delighted and amazed not to encounter
anyone in the corridors; security had been taken care of with
some application of Mulders old FBI bag of entry breaking
tricks. Luck had smiled on them every step of the way. He was
theirs, all theirs. Mulder and Scully almost sobbed with joy to
feel their son in their arms again, a day they thought they would
never see as they took in his precious, tiny face, fingers and
baby curls. Mulder gazed adoringly from William, to his partner
and mother of his child; Her beautiful face momentarily obscured
by his tears. His smile of joy was enough to open her own
floodgates before they made it back to the safety of their car,
and away into the darkness of the road ahead.
They had driven until dawn, swallowing miles
and miles of nondescript farm country and deserted back roads;
going several times in a zigzag pattern in case they were being
followed. Later when the sun had risen, William had opened his
huge astonished blue eyes, before starting to cry. His happy
parents had looked at each other in shocked awe, before bursting
out laughing, releasing the tension that had held them in its
grip for longer than they could remember. Their little one was
They were parents again; nothing would ever
separate them again. That strength of determination and undyig
love they had for each other, would see them through troubled
Scully yawned and awoke, stretching, her eyes swollen by sleep. In the bed, she groped around to find the reassuring presence of Mulders warm skin, and abruptly opened her eyelids when she found nothing. The early morning sun flooded the room as she threw on her nightdress; one of her, two sizes too big, Mulder sweaters, before padding, still half asleep into their son's room. The bed was empty, but the sheet still carried the imprint of his small body. She smiled; knowing where she was going to find the two great loves of her life.
Silently, she went downstairs to the living room, heading towards the half-opened French window. Without a sound, she crossed the terrace facing the sea, and her heart swelled with such happiness on discovering the scene her eyes suddenly fell upon.. She gasped, breathing in the salty air.
Mulder was lounging on the white glide hammock,
rocking gently. His serious, but relaxed face turned towards the
pale morning sun, basking in its warmth, his son peacefully
sleeping in his arms, completely relaxed against the rise and
fall of his father's chest, his tiny mouth half-opened, his hair
appearing even fairer under the sun's rays.
Scully's eyes filled with tears of happiness,
rolling slowly down her cheeks. She wiped them with the back of
her hand, before going to Mulders side. Mulder tilted his
sleepy face up at her and she gave him back a marvelous smile;
one which chased away the melancholy glint, she could so often
see in the depth of his eyes.
He woke up around 4am. I gave him a
bottle of milk and some oatmeal.I wanted him to watch the sunrise
with me. Father and son bonding, ya know. Obviously, daddys
appreciation for beautiful landscapes and nature is something
that junior here, has yet to acquire.
She suppressed a small giggle and curled up
against her husbands shoulder; playing with her sons
blond wispy curls and enjoying the contact of Mulders
sun-warmed skin. Without disturbing his son, Mulder carefully
slipped his arm around her, their lips coming together by
consensus and their quiet breathing in sync now.
You missed the sunrise, Scully, but we
will have others. Lots of em; all of us together.
Is it a promise? Her fingers
absently stroking the fabric of Mulder shirt, over his heart, as
they both contemplated their miracle.
You bet. He nodded at their still
sleeping son, both of them marveling at the wonder they had
created and the fact that he was finally back in their loving
embrace; back where he always belonged.